Ik kwam dit tegen op Samplecity... kan me niet herinneren dat het hier al heeft gestaan dus hier zijn:
Top 40 redenen dat je een synth verslaafde bent:
40. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, you know what BPM they flash at
39. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required to reproduce it
38. In addition to your "in" and "out" trays at work, you also have one marked "thru"
37. Last christmas you synced your christmas tree lights to your TB-303
36. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch
35. Your cats name is Octave
34. You expect the cutoff freq of your door to change when you turn the knob
33. Your girlfriend drapes a wig over your favourite synth to remind you what she looks like
32. You step out of your studio and realise that your family has moved and you dont have a clue when it happened
31. You have "frequency" and "resonance" tattooed above your nipples (dont ask where "pitchbend" is)
30. Your daughters new boyfriend has tattoos, rides a harley and doesnt work but you dont mind because his name is Roland
29. You telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write and produce
28. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your apartment, only racks, mixers, keyboards, cable and power cords
27. You have bass bins for tables
26. It is dangerous to walk around your own living room at night (see 28.)
25. Theres a giant yellow ball in the sky, and your not quite sure what it is, but when you go outside it burns your retinas and makes your skin glow
24. You wait untill 12.10am to read the on-line music classified ads and can effectively scan them in under a minute
23. You never answer the phone (hmm.. i wonder if its to get people to listen to the message you spent so much time on in 29?)
22. When all your significant other has to say is "oh no, not another one" and you dont know what they are talking about
21. You just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty lights blink and glow
20. If you perk up on sundays when you hear the word "prophet"
19. You would rather fiddle with your synthesizers knobs than with your girlfriend
18. Somehow you havent been able to budget for clothes for 2+ years, but you have found thousands of pounds to buy gear
17. Your girlfriend goes to bed, you go to your studio
16. Your friends say "why would you pay thousands for that piece of crap" and you glare back and actually get offended
15. You can tell the difference between 12db/24db filters by ear
14. You prefer "analogue" instead of "digital" home appliances because "they just work better"
13. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24db neural implant to filter your ever increasing tinnitus problem
12. You devise a method of connecting your cv sequencer to a mains relay to trigger the coffee machine every 1,024 gate pulses
11. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturers logo on it. You scam them for free at every trade show, saving money fo more important things
10. Your girlfriend leaves you. You go into depression for a while then you decide you can win her back with a simple, touching, and heartfelt song written especially for her. 6 months later you are still mixing it
9. You go to a trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of crap" and then go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the pcm samples came from, and offer them better samples from your own analogue wardrobe, all in a very loud voice. They give you an embroidered tour jacket on the condition that you go away NOW (see 11)
8. Synth manufacturers call you for technical support
7. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths
6. You get excited about talking electronic toys and you try to subvert them into saying bad words so that you can sample them
5. You dream of finding a £50 moog 55 at a garage sale and after youve thought of this you stop at every one you see
4. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet to show everyone
3. Your monthly power bill is always in triple digits
2. You hace a rack mounted microwave oven
And the #1 sign that youve been hanging around synths and samplers to long;
You understand every last term and joke used in this article !
Top 40 redenen dat je een synth verslaafde bent:
40. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, you know what BPM they flash at
39. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required to reproduce it
38. In addition to your "in" and "out" trays at work, you also have one marked "thru"
37. Last christmas you synced your christmas tree lights to your TB-303
36. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch
35. Your cats name is Octave
34. You expect the cutoff freq of your door to change when you turn the knob
33. Your girlfriend drapes a wig over your favourite synth to remind you what she looks like
32. You step out of your studio and realise that your family has moved and you dont have a clue when it happened
31. You have "frequency" and "resonance" tattooed above your nipples (dont ask where "pitchbend" is)
30. Your daughters new boyfriend has tattoos, rides a harley and doesnt work but you dont mind because his name is Roland
29. You telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write and produce
28. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your apartment, only racks, mixers, keyboards, cable and power cords
27. You have bass bins for tables
26. It is dangerous to walk around your own living room at night (see 28.)
25. Theres a giant yellow ball in the sky, and your not quite sure what it is, but when you go outside it burns your retinas and makes your skin glow
24. You wait untill 12.10am to read the on-line music classified ads and can effectively scan them in under a minute
23. You never answer the phone (hmm.. i wonder if its to get people to listen to the message you spent so much time on in 29?)
22. When all your significant other has to say is "oh no, not another one" and you dont know what they are talking about
21. You just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty lights blink and glow
20. If you perk up on sundays when you hear the word "prophet"
19. You would rather fiddle with your synthesizers knobs than with your girlfriend
18. Somehow you havent been able to budget for clothes for 2+ years, but you have found thousands of pounds to buy gear
17. Your girlfriend goes to bed, you go to your studio
16. Your friends say "why would you pay thousands for that piece of crap" and you glare back and actually get offended
15. You can tell the difference between 12db/24db filters by ear
14. You prefer "analogue" instead of "digital" home appliances because "they just work better"
13. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24db neural implant to filter your ever increasing tinnitus problem
12. You devise a method of connecting your cv sequencer to a mains relay to trigger the coffee machine every 1,024 gate pulses
11. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturers logo on it. You scam them for free at every trade show, saving money fo more important things
10. Your girlfriend leaves you. You go into depression for a while then you decide you can win her back with a simple, touching, and heartfelt song written especially for her. 6 months later you are still mixing it
9. You go to a trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of crap" and then go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the pcm samples came from, and offer them better samples from your own analogue wardrobe, all in a very loud voice. They give you an embroidered tour jacket on the condition that you go away NOW (see 11)
8. Synth manufacturers call you for technical support
7. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths
6. You get excited about talking electronic toys and you try to subvert them into saying bad words so that you can sample them
5. You dream of finding a £50 moog 55 at a garage sale and after youve thought of this you stop at every one you see
4. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet to show everyone
3. Your monthly power bill is always in triple digits
2. You hace a rack mounted microwave oven
And the #1 sign that youve been hanging around synths and samplers to long;
You understand every last term and joke used in this article !
