Stefan
budget freak
Adventures in Denglish
It is New Year's Day 2002 and I'm sitting here thoroughly content in the knowledge that I escaped New Year's Eve "oliebol" free. Not that I have any objection to fried dough. No, my problem with this particular Dutch tradition is the name.
Here's a story: December 31, 1994. My first "Oud en Nieuw". I've just spent a lovely evening with some relatives when one of them puts a plate of the brown, sugar-sprinkled spheres in front of my nose, and in an inviting tone offers "oil ball?" Full points for effort, but I think something namely my appetite) was lost in the translation. I knew then that Dutch would be an adventure.
A casual visit to any of our shops (American Book Center) and you'll notice pretty quickly that all of our colleagues are bilingual. If you listen more closely you'll be struck by a third language seeping through the Dutch and the English bandied about - Denglish. Denglish seems to be the lingua franca of The ABC and many of our friends and families, and every once in a while, while conversing a word or phrase will creep through that oddly enough rather than losing something in translation seems to gain something.
Being a word nerd of the first degree and never one to pass up a cheap chuckle at some off-color humor, I've collected a few of these to share with you.
I'm sure many of you have heard the one about the Dutch farmer who visits the US. When asked by a friendly American what he does for a living, the farmer proudly replies, "I fok horses". The American is taken aback and hopes that he has misheard. "Pardon?" he responds, more than a little worried. "Ja, paarden!" comes the reply.
There are more Dutch words, product names and companies that just seem to sound strange to English ears. Similar to the American talking to the farmer, my sister and I thought it inordinately funny as kids when our Dutch mom mentioned that lots of people here worked for Fokker, and that some even flew Fokkers. In a similar vein, we at the ABC tend to use 'vakje' rather than pigeonhole or mailbox resulting in sentences such as "Could you put this in my vakje?" When I first started to speak Dutch, I thought it amazing that people called each other prostitutes all the time and no one seemed bothered. "Ja, whore." At least that's what it sounded like to me.
It took a visit to Boom Chicago to notice the absurd serendipity of the name Rabobank ('Rob a bank') and I was gleefully surprised to discover that at the right supermarket anyone can buy 'PiPi toilet paper'. I know one American man who refuses to buy his jeans at a store called 'Sissy Boy'.
And one of our South African colleagues was mildly concerned when, on a recent shopping trip together, her mother-in-law bought some 'anti-klit shampoo'.
While I'm on the subject, I'd like to mention a product name that doesn't exactly fit into this category, but deserves notice none the less. Some marketing genius somewhere was inspired to put together two non-Dutch words to try to sell a product and came up with possibly the most unappetizing name for an ice-cream treat EVER. It rivals the 'oil ball' for sheer stomach churning finesse. I speak, of course, of the ever popular 'Winner Taco'.
Then there are those wonderful words and expressions that either lose meaning altogether or that gain new, unintended levels of meaning when literally translated. On the phone once with a friend in Seattle, the words 'helaas pindakaas' slipped out of my mouth. My friend asked me to translate, and it was only then that I realized the absurdity of blurting out 'unfortunately peanut butter' when faced with disappointment. Add to this the fact that you've got test rabbits rather than guinea pigs and that your toilets wear glasses and it's a wonder that so many tourists feel the need to get stoned while they're here. The place is surreal enough as it is.
The category of literal translations that seem to lose all sense whatsoever are the ones that people here purposely seem to like to make. It's for the fun of playing with the language but that doesn't make these any less inspired. A very popular one that I've often heard is 'go your gang' or the alternative "go your corridor". A similar word play came recently from a classmate of mine who turned to me after explaining a difficult concept and asked "Do you snap it?" Knowing how fun this can be, colleagues at the ABC like to create nonsensical English out of perfectly sensical Dutch.
Several years ago I asked a colleague if she knew when another colleague was working and got the answer "If hit you me dead". It took me several minutes to figure that one out. Another colleague recently went into the bathroom to see if there was a plumbing problem, came back out and declared "Nothing on the hand!" And I think my favorite of these silly sentences comes from a recent in-store e-mail sent by a colleague on the first floor to let us know that due to high demand The Lord of The Rings was temporarily out of stock. "They fly like warm rolls over the counter," she announced. Interesting image.
But, of course, the best of these literal translations aren't the ones that lose sense, but that find sense somewhere along the way. These are often slightly wicked, adding to the joy. For example, I recently realized that my neighbor's cat likes to 'give you a little head' when you come to visit. She does it whenever you walk into the house. And I also wonder why there aren't more arrests for indecent exposure during the weekends considering how many people hang the beast out.
But my two absolute favorites, both unintentional, are hard to top. One comes from the husband of a colleague who received a letter from a young Dutch man applying for an exchange program in the States. Apparently proud of his people skills the young man made it a point to let this be known by writing, "I can shoot up with everyone!" And the best, from years ago, an oldie but a goodie, was when a former colleague, discussing a difficult romantic situation that a friend was in, with absolutely no intent to be funny or make a pun, told me that she was "eating from two dikes". I guess sometimes there's more truth to what we say than even we realize.
It is New Year's Day 2002 and I'm sitting here thoroughly content in the knowledge that I escaped New Year's Eve "oliebol" free. Not that I have any objection to fried dough. No, my problem with this particular Dutch tradition is the name.
Here's a story: December 31, 1994. My first "Oud en Nieuw". I've just spent a lovely evening with some relatives when one of them puts a plate of the brown, sugar-sprinkled spheres in front of my nose, and in an inviting tone offers "oil ball?" Full points for effort, but I think something namely my appetite) was lost in the translation. I knew then that Dutch would be an adventure.
A casual visit to any of our shops (American Book Center) and you'll notice pretty quickly that all of our colleagues are bilingual. If you listen more closely you'll be struck by a third language seeping through the Dutch and the English bandied about - Denglish. Denglish seems to be the lingua franca of The ABC and many of our friends and families, and every once in a while, while conversing a word or phrase will creep through that oddly enough rather than losing something in translation seems to gain something.
Being a word nerd of the first degree and never one to pass up a cheap chuckle at some off-color humor, I've collected a few of these to share with you.
I'm sure many of you have heard the one about the Dutch farmer who visits the US. When asked by a friendly American what he does for a living, the farmer proudly replies, "I fok horses". The American is taken aback and hopes that he has misheard. "Pardon?" he responds, more than a little worried. "Ja, paarden!" comes the reply.
There are more Dutch words, product names and companies that just seem to sound strange to English ears. Similar to the American talking to the farmer, my sister and I thought it inordinately funny as kids when our Dutch mom mentioned that lots of people here worked for Fokker, and that some even flew Fokkers. In a similar vein, we at the ABC tend to use 'vakje' rather than pigeonhole or mailbox resulting in sentences such as "Could you put this in my vakje?" When I first started to speak Dutch, I thought it amazing that people called each other prostitutes all the time and no one seemed bothered. "Ja, whore." At least that's what it sounded like to me.
It took a visit to Boom Chicago to notice the absurd serendipity of the name Rabobank ('Rob a bank') and I was gleefully surprised to discover that at the right supermarket anyone can buy 'PiPi toilet paper'. I know one American man who refuses to buy his jeans at a store called 'Sissy Boy'.
And one of our South African colleagues was mildly concerned when, on a recent shopping trip together, her mother-in-law bought some 'anti-klit shampoo'.
While I'm on the subject, I'd like to mention a product name that doesn't exactly fit into this category, but deserves notice none the less. Some marketing genius somewhere was inspired to put together two non-Dutch words to try to sell a product and came up with possibly the most unappetizing name for an ice-cream treat EVER. It rivals the 'oil ball' for sheer stomach churning finesse. I speak, of course, of the ever popular 'Winner Taco'.
Then there are those wonderful words and expressions that either lose meaning altogether or that gain new, unintended levels of meaning when literally translated. On the phone once with a friend in Seattle, the words 'helaas pindakaas' slipped out of my mouth. My friend asked me to translate, and it was only then that I realized the absurdity of blurting out 'unfortunately peanut butter' when faced with disappointment. Add to this the fact that you've got test rabbits rather than guinea pigs and that your toilets wear glasses and it's a wonder that so many tourists feel the need to get stoned while they're here. The place is surreal enough as it is.
The category of literal translations that seem to lose all sense whatsoever are the ones that people here purposely seem to like to make. It's for the fun of playing with the language but that doesn't make these any less inspired. A very popular one that I've often heard is 'go your gang' or the alternative "go your corridor". A similar word play came recently from a classmate of mine who turned to me after explaining a difficult concept and asked "Do you snap it?" Knowing how fun this can be, colleagues at the ABC like to create nonsensical English out of perfectly sensical Dutch.
Several years ago I asked a colleague if she knew when another colleague was working and got the answer "If hit you me dead". It took me several minutes to figure that one out. Another colleague recently went into the bathroom to see if there was a plumbing problem, came back out and declared "Nothing on the hand!" And I think my favorite of these silly sentences comes from a recent in-store e-mail sent by a colleague on the first floor to let us know that due to high demand The Lord of The Rings was temporarily out of stock. "They fly like warm rolls over the counter," she announced. Interesting image.
But, of course, the best of these literal translations aren't the ones that lose sense, but that find sense somewhere along the way. These are often slightly wicked, adding to the joy. For example, I recently realized that my neighbor's cat likes to 'give you a little head' when you come to visit. She does it whenever you walk into the house. And I also wonder why there aren't more arrests for indecent exposure during the weekends considering how many people hang the beast out.
But my two absolute favorites, both unintentional, are hard to top. One comes from the husband of a colleague who received a letter from a young Dutch man applying for an exchange program in the States. Apparently proud of his people skills the young man made it a point to let this be known by writing, "I can shoot up with everyone!" And the best, from years ago, an oldie but a goodie, was when a former colleague, discussing a difficult romantic situation that a friend was in, with absolutely no intent to be funny or make a pun, told me that she was "eating from two dikes". I guess sometimes there's more truth to what we say than even we realize.
LMAO
